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I also highly recommend Breaking the Argument Cycle: How to Stop Fighting Without Therapy by Sharon Rivkin. Clearly men and women have difficulties communicating at times and it can be extremely frustrating inside of relationship. Her highly effective techniques show how to resolve conflicts in a simple, three-step process and turn even the most argumentative relationships into loving and intimate bonds that can last a lifetime. Rivkin shows that we often fall into a particular pattern of arguing that can live on for the life of a relationship and create painful and ongoing conflict. Learning the dynamics of successful communication takes patience and a willingness to understand that men and women ARE different. Tannen's book demonstrates this fact in an easy to read and useful style.
Another book I enjoyed is Be 2 Hot 2 Handle: Make Every Man Fall in Love with You Instantly A worthwhile read for any man who has wondered just what he said wrong and for any woman who finds herself puzzled by the men who just don't 'get it.' Take the lessons to heart and your life will be running more smoothly in no time. Wow. This book is an eye opener not only for communication at work but in personal relationships as well.
This book is written in short, page to two pager excerpts, that make it convenient for the person with a minutes here and a minute there. Must buy easy reader for a busy person on the go. This is an excellent well written book. It sheds new light on gender differences helping the reader become more flexible within their own own conversations.
I know that sounds so weird, but there really are differences in how many men and women use language. In understanding those differences and more, I am now better able to understand why a man may say certain things and hence better able to take it as it in the spirit it was given, rather than feeling hurt.
Over all I found this book an entertaining read and very practical. It also has helped me speak to men in a way that they will understand and will not see as demeaning myself in the pecking order.
"You Just Don't Understand" is a very readable book with plenty of examples and data to back it up. Most women use language to create bonding and to create an even playing field without a pecking order.
If you have ever been frustrated in a conversation with the opposite gender, this book may shed some light. I found it to be amazingly accurate and it really has helped me communicate better with men.
For example, most men use language to convey information and to create a pecking order.
That is what the book was meant to do and it succeeds very well. However, in my opinion, having awareness of what is happening is a major step in moving forward in any relationship. explaining or suggesting what you do with the new understanding.
In my first relationship, it helped me to understand her point of view. I find that the material is very good at explaining common misunderstandings that arise in relationships. This is the second time I have read this book.
It's not very good at going beyond that, i.e. I recommend it to anyone who finds themselves stuck in a recurring loop of "he said, she said." Unfortunately, we never got past that.
In my current relationship, we are reading this book and another by the same author simultaneously and discussing the meaning and implications of the material.
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